Online dating was supposed to make meeting people easier. Swipe, match, chat, maybe grab coffee. Instead, for a growing number of Americans, it has become an ongoing exercise in spotting fake profiles, dodging bots, and wondering whether the person on the other side of the screen is real at all.
New research released ahead of Valentine’s Day suggests this isn’t paranoia. According to McAfee, one in four Americans says they have encountered a fake dating profile or an AI generated bot. That is not a fringe problem. That is mainstream behavior baked directly into modern dating platforms.
What is striking is not just how common these encounters have become, but how aggressively automated they now appear to be. McAfee says it blocked hundreds of thousands of romance related malicious URLs between early December and late January. At the same time, its researchers observed fake AI dating bots bombarding users with messages. In some cases, people received more than 60 messages in 12 hours, even without posting a profile photo. That is not flirting. That is industrial scale manipulation.
The scams themselves rarely start with anything that looks suspicious. They start with conversation. Friendly messages. Daily check ins. A sense of familiarity that builds over time. Only later do the requests show up – QR codes, verification codes, payment apps, cryptocurrency, or some vague investment opportunity framed as helpful advice.
This slow burn approach works because people are wired to trust once a connection feels real. McAfee’s data highlights just how blurry that line has become. Nearly one in three people surveyed said it is possible to develop romantic feelings toward an AI bot. Among adults under 45, nearly half said the same. A smaller but still unsettling percentage admitted they have personally felt something resembling romance toward an AI chatbot.
Once trust forms, money is never far behind. More than half of respondents said they had been asked to send money or share financial information by someone they met through dating or social platforms. Younger adults tend to lose smaller amounts, often under $500. Larger losses are more common among men in their mid 30s to mid 50s. Overall, men are far more likely than women to report losing money, and losses above $5,000 were reported only by men.
Some of the most damaging fallout is not financial. It is emotional. One victim described months of daily conversations that felt respectful and genuine, only to end in the realization that more than $80,000 was gone. The money hurt. The embarrassment and isolation hurt more. McAfee says nearly one in three people who lose money to romance scams recover none of it, and nearly all say the experience left a lasting emotional mark.
Interestingly, McAfee also reports a decline in traditional dating app themed malicious URLs compared to last year. That might sound like progress, but it likely is not. Scammers appear to be shifting tactics rather than retreating. Fake mobile apps, cloned versions of popular dating services, and direct messaging scams seem to be filling the gap. In McAfee’s analysis, fake versions of well known dating apps remain common, with Plenty of Fish accounting for a large share of detected fake installations during the study period.
All of this points to an uncomfortable reality. Romance scams are no longer rare edge cases. They are part of the background noise of online dating. A message without a link does not mean it is safe. A QR code can hide something ugly behind what looks harmless or even romantic. And a profile that feels real does not always belong to a real person.
McAfee, predictably, highlights its own scam detection tools as a way to help users spot danger sooner. Those tools may catch obvious threats, but they cannot solve the core problem. Scammers are exploiting human emotion, not just technical weaknesses. No app can fully protect someone who has already been drawn in.
For now, the best defense remains boring advice that unfortunately still applies. Be cautious of relationships that move too fast. Be wary of anyone who avoids video or voice calls. Never send money, gift cards, or cryptocurrency to someone you have not met in person. Limit how much personal information you share early on.
Online dating is not going away. Neither are romance scams. At this point, learning how to navigate deception may be as essential as writing a decent bio.
